Dumpster Fires of the Week: Les is less

As much fun as it has been listing Colorado and Allburned every week here, college football finally presented some other worthy candidates this time around.

1. Les Miles' decisions on Saturday

Can we skip the Mad Hatter moniker and just go with plain mad? Miles' fake field goal call, onside kick attempt and horrible decision to go for it on 4th-and-1 with a horrible play call kept Alabama in the game, allowing 'Bama to escape Baton Rouge with a win when Saban's team was badly outplayed on the field. MIles just wasted the best passing game from an LSU quarterback in three years.

2. Jeff Tedford's Cal tenure

Jeff Tedford is apparently part Kirk Ferentz's complex Ponzi scheme. Tedford makes more than $2.3 million and has Cal on the hook for a nearly $7 million contract buyout. Tedford's Bears have been average the last five years and now have dipped into the world of bad and a losing season.

For those interested, Tedford is selling his home if anyone wants a $5.35 million mansion with a Cal Bears logo basketball court.

Apparently even Tedford knows his gig might be up soon.

3. Tennessee D

So, let's be clear here. An SEC defense – you know, home to the greatest defenses in college football, the only place where real defense is played – gave up 700 yards of offense to Troy. Not the 2004 USC team with Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart and a host of NFL players. Troy, as in the school formerly called "Troy State." 

And this "win'" is somehow supposed to save Derek Dooley's job?

4. Mike Patrick and Ed Cunningham

How in the world are these clueless assclowns paid to broadcast football games? Their bias to Iowa State in the game with Oklahoma over the weekend was beyond anything that I have ever heard. Their lack of knowledge of college football and Oklahoma was shocking.

My favorite part was when the Ambiguously Clueless Duo decided that Dan Marino would have been a great fit
in the Oregon spread option running attack. That would be the same Dan Marino who had about -250 yards in his college career.

Everything OU did was bad. Everything ISU did was brilliant. We got in-depth features on the ISU linebacker not playing and how great the Cyclones punter is. Cunningham's insights were so off-target that I'm honestly concerned that they were drinking in the booth.

5. USC Defense

Southern Cal has a defense pretty much loaded with four-star and five-star prospects. USC gets who it wants from California and poaches the rest of the country.

However, Oregon turned USC's defense into something resembling WVU's by scoring at will. The stats are absurd: 730 yards total offense, one punt, more than 400 yards rushing and 300 yards passing.

It's one thing to give up 62 points after a turnover-laden effort with defensive and special teams touchdowns. But Oregon pretty much drove the field for every touchdown. Sometimes, you run into an offense that is a match-up problem either running or throwing the ball, and you just get caught scheme or personnel wise. But a total inability to stop the run or pass? That's sure-fire Dumpster Fire defense.