Tebow Wept (and the Writers Swooned)

Don't tug on Superman's cape... And do try to figure out the most ridiculous number of story lines and ways to venerate him in print that you can.

Judging by the transcripts from yesterday's interview sessions, that appears to be the media mantra in Fort Lauderdale right now.

In the wake of OU cornerback Dominique Franks' ballyhooed comments about Florida folk hero Tim Tebow, Homerism decided to check out exactly went down. I'll get to Franks shortly, but check out the questions posed to Florida's offensive coaches and players. Keep in mind that this wasn't some Super-Bowl-media-day crapulence. (At least, I don't think Telemundo was involved.)

Here's a sampling of Homerism's favorites. (Feel free to compare to the questions asked during the other sessions for proof I'm not cherry-picking--OU defense, OU offense, Florida defense.)

"Q. Tim, you've been involved in public speaking for many years through the missionary trips that you've done with your family. I was wondering if you could just talk about how difficult some of that was early on, and if you think being able to handle speaking in front of lots of people has helped you and how as a football player."

"Q. Just following up on our earlier chat, I wanted to draw you out on, you frequently talk about how pressure is not really an issue for you, and the missionary trips and the volunteer work you do, I wondered if you could talk about what sort of perspective that gives you on football. And does that remove some of the pressure because you've seen it a different way?"

"Q. Steve (Addazio, Florida offensive coordinator), I remember talking to Coach Meyer about this, knowing what Tim has done going to the Philippines and missionary work and going to prisons, what does that tell you about him not only as a player but as a human being?"

"Q. Tim, I was wondering if you could talk about how your role changed this year versus last year? And does sitting up here right now preparing to play for the National Championship make everything worthwhile in terms of the numbers that we talk about and the fans look at and the way you were really that one man wrecking crew last year, and this year you've sort of spread the ball around and got ahead of everybody's numbers?"

(Sorry, I can't stop.)

"Q. Jason, do you guys as a team ever get angry at Tebow when you have to wait for him as he's signing autograph after autograph and you're on the bus waiting?" (This one was asked twice.)

"Q. This is for all three of the offensive linemen: As the protectors of Tebow, you guys probably know him better than anyone else. We know he does mission trips and visits hospitals, does he ever do anything wrong? Does he ever not leave a tip? Trip people in the street ?"

"Q. How does Tim look in the shower?"

OK, I made that last one up, but you get my drift.

As for Franks, you can almost see the look of shock on his inquisitor's face as the OU defensive back takes the bait not once, not twice, but three times. And imagine the salivating from the Stewart Mandels of college football's literati at the "solid-gold" opportunity to do some incendiary muckraking. I'm sure it's no coincidence that Franks wasn't made available to the media today.

Anyway, not just Sooner fans, but human beings, should hope Franks will make Tebow cry on Thursday night. Apparently, his tears cure cancer.