Big 12 media days: One question for every coach

Thankfully, I don't have a boss asking me to go spend two days transcribing bland quotes in ballrooms at a hotel in Dallas this week for Big 12 media days. If I did, however, I'd make sure to get these questions in:

Art Briles, Baylor:

Can you answer a question without using any sort of folksy Texas-ism?

Paul Rhoads, Iowa State:

Do you have any fun nicknames for Mark Mangino yet?

Charlie Weis, Kansas:

Do you miss Colorado?

Bill Snyder, Kansas State:

Zzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzz...

Bob Stoops, Oklahoma:

How will you keep up with the SEC?

Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State:

Do you intend to lose to Florida State by fewer than 18.5 points? (Asking for a friend.)
"Nick Saban? You're looking for a white guy, about this tall."

"Nick Saban? You're looking for a white guy, about this tall."

Charlie Strong, Texas:

Who are you and what have you done with Nick Saban?

Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech:

Would it be okay if I asked you about football?

Gary Patterson, TCU:

Has Laura Davies asked for her look back yet?

Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia:

Whose offensive coordinator will you be next year?

-Allen Kenney