Stupor-Inducing Saturday

So this is a dog of a schedule from a "name" standpoint. If the marquee game is supposed to be blowout-waiting-to-happen Miami at Florida, you'd better understand have plenty of alternatives to watch this weekend. Otheriwse, you can count on sorting your sock drawer or watching "The Girls Next Door" around 9:15 EST on Saturday.

So, take the proper steps now. Homerism offers readers his suggestions for a Saturday viewing guide, complete with backup plans and reasons why you should care. (All times EST) 

Before noon: Sleep late.
There is even less reason than usual for anyone to watch GameDay this week.

-Alternative: Attend a a four-hour grad school class for part-time students.

Guess which of these I'll be doing. I actually chose to do this.

12 pm to 12:30 pm: Miami (OH) @ Michigan
I'm about as uninterested in the RichRod era in Ann Arbor as they come. However, even if it's just one week later, last week's Utah game should have given the Wolverines an idea of what they need to work on, so it might be an opportunity to figure out Big Blue's upside. The Redhawks are no slouches--not quite on Utah's level, but not Army, either.
-Alternative: UConn @ Temple
Only because you might have money on this one.

12:30 pm to 3:30 pm: Southern Miss @ Auburn
This one certainly has the potential to get interesting. Auburn seems to be struggling in the transition to offensive coordinator Tony Franklin's spread scheme. New Southern Miss coach Larry Fedora has brought his own version of the spread to Hattiesburg. The Golden Eagles will chuck it all over the lot here, so that should be pretty cool anyway. Tigers should have this one in hand by 3:30.
-Alternative: Stick with Michigan game
This move could make sense if the Wolverines are struggling.

3:30 pm to 7 pm: Cincinnati @ Oklahoma

Shouldn't be too much of a question here, obviously. Even if this wasn't an OU blog, this matchup probably has the best potential for quality football.

-Alternative: Oregon St. @ Penn St.

If you absolutely have to watch something else, I guess this would be it. Maybe Penn St. can challenge the Buckeyes for the Big Ten title.

7 pm to 9 pm: South Florida @ Central Florida

Apparently these two teams hate each other because the Bulls unilaterally decided to end this interstate semi-rivalry. South Florida looks like the best challenger to West Virginia in the Big East for the time being, so there's that. Central Florida got rolled in this game last year, 64-12, so there's plenty of bad blood on that end. George O' Leary is known for resorting to any means necessary to get what he wants, which only adds to the intrigue.

-Alternative: Maybe Houston @ Oklahoma St. (Strong possibility this won't be televised in your area.)

If you have no stake in the Big XII, this one sucks like the rest of this lot in this time slot. Wannabe ruthless tyrants could tune in for the obligatory Boone Pickens interview.

9 pm to 12:30 am: Texas Tech @ Nevada

Switch over to this game if you can find it. Homerism thinks Nevada has a puncher's chance here. Plus, a road game like this should provide a nice litmus test to help determine if the Red Raiders are actually top 10 material. Count on this one going until about 1:15.

-Alternative: Stanford @ Arizona St.

The Sun Devils are being billed as a potential challenger to USC in the Pac-10. Having watched the Trojans demolish Virginia last week, Homerism's skeptical that any other team in the conference has a shot. Meanwhile, the Cardinal looked pretty scrappy in taking down Oregon St. last week. ASU could be looking ahead to next week's tilt with Georgia.

OK, so I said I'd be able to talk you into believing there are reasons worth watching these games. I should have taken a better look at the schedule first. Still, it's college football. Two weeks ago, your best excuse to spend a Saturday in your reclining leather La-Z-Boy sofa was an "America's Next Top Model" marathon.